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Whilst stubborn and difficult to shift, there are numerous strategies that show us how to overcome limiting beliefs. In this article we look at three proven strategies to rewrite the self-imposed restrictions that you hold in your mind.
Limiting beliefs are really quite remarkable things – and not in a good way.
Once you have identified that you have them, you will suddenly realize the impact that they have had on your life, often for a long time. You may feel foolish, even duped, sometimes you can even laugh at them when you realize how ridiculous and trivial they are. Other times you may be shocked by the hold these psychological rules have had on your life. You may feel sadness and regret at the depth of negative feelings they create, feelings such as worthlessness, incompetence, failure, and self-doubt.
Because these beliefs are conclusions drawn from our memory banks of experience, pain and pleasure they often exist silently in our lives. They guide and enable our expectations, helping us to understand the world, giving us an element of certainty and security. We know what to expect. The issues arise when what we believe and expect is totally off-kilter with reality and the truth.
It is only when we identify our limiting beliefs specifically that we can take concerted action to eradicate them. Although there is lots that you can do to take action to conquer them, it does take time and perseverance – particularly for those beliefs that have been deeply entrenched for long periods.
How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs – 3 Exercises
Before we start to look at the different strategies to address our limiting beliefs, it’s worth saying that there is no magic bullet. There is no individual tool or technique. Instead, it’s about trialing a range of strategies, seeing which ones work and being persistent in your endeavours to rewrite them.
Exercise 1: Post-It Notes to overcome limiting beliefs
This exercise, based on the work of Barefoot Coaching, is best completed with a friend or partner that you can trust.
a. Start off by writing on individual Post-It Notes the beliefs that you hold about yourself – these should be both limiting and empowering.
For example:
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- I think that I am useless at mathematics but I don’t t understand numbers, I am not bright enough.
- I am a good and loyal friend.
b. Next, go through each one, both limiting and empowering, with your partner and ask the following questions:
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- Is the belief true?
- Is it helpful? (Note, some limiting beliefs can be helpful because they protect us from harm)
- Was it true once? Is this a legacy from your past that no longer applies?
- What is the source of the belief? Who helped create it? How reliable is this person?
Ensure that you hold a frank and detailed discussion about each belief. You will be surprised to see how quickly some of them tumble.
c. Once you have considered each of the beliefs, classify them according to three rules:
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- Keep it – because it is helpful and constructive
- Review and amend it – so that it becomes useful
- Throw it away because it is untrue.
d. Once you have evaluated and classified all of the beliefs from the first stage of the exercise, you may choose to write some more with your partner. These should be empowering beliefs that can be co-created with your partner, who can use this as an opportunity to highlight your strengths to you.
e. Keep your final list of empowering beliefs somewhere safe and refer to them often. You may even choose to use them as Affirmations, and recite them regularly, in order to boost your confidence.
Exercise 2: Identify the Blocker
In this exercise you need to reflect on past experiences before you can move forwards.
- Think of a time where you set yourself a goal that you didn’t achieve.
- Sit with this experience, think about it deeply, and answer the following questions:
- What was the goal that you wanted to achieve?
- Specifically, at which point did you fail? Make sure that you are precise in your answer and be honest with yourself. Ask yourself:
- Did I really want to achieve the goal or did I think I should?
- What specific action did you not take?; or What went wrong?
- What did you do when this happened or did not happen?
- To be honest, would you like to revisit this goal? Would achieving it add value to your life? If the answer is ‘yes’, reflect on the above answers, and then take action, rewriting the step where things went wrong. Take the action that you need to achieve your goal.
You can use this approach for achieving new goals. Before you start the process take some time and think deeply about the action that you need to take. Identify the risks and your weaknesses, then formulate a plan to overcome them. It is vital that you are honest. Before you are even start you must be 100% certain that you are committed to achieving the goal because you want to do it, not because you should.
Exercise 3: What You Think – You Are to overcome limiting beliefs
Read the title of this exercise several times.
At face value, this might seem trivial but in actual fact, it is an incredibly effective way to resolve your limiting beliefs. It does however take time to embed as a habit and it needs to be practiced regularly.
The simple truth is that we become our thoughts. In other words, what we think – we are. This is exactly why Henry Ford said:
“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.”
When we think about something often, it dominates not only our thoughts and our minds but also our behaviors and attitudes. What we think steers the way that we behave.
For example, if we have a limiting belief that we are useless at public speaking we will tell ourselves this constantly. Every time we are asked to present to a group of people or attend an event where someone else is speaking, the message is repeated – time and time again.
Eventually, any opportunity to speak in public becomes impossible because we believe that we cannot do it. We have told ourselves this repeatedly and close the door to this opportunity. We accept fully that this is something that we cannot do.
In actual fact, this is simply a product of negative self-talk. Nothing more. The reality is that anyone can speak in public. Of course, some might want more practice than others, but everyone is capable of this.
So in order to overcome some of our limiting beliefs we need to rewrite the script in our heads and change our thought patterns.
Try this:
- Think of a limiting belief that you hold about yourself that holds you back, restricts you or you would like to change. For example, I cannot apply for a promotion.
- Identify the thoughts associated with this. For example, I will fail and people will laugh at me when I don’t get the job. I am not qualified enough.
- Instead, consciously think of some new positive and constructive thoughts to replace these. For example, I am experienced. I have expertly led the team for over 5 years. I am well respected and always hit my targets.
- Every time you start thinking about the limiting belief consciously and decisively replace the negative thinking with positive thinking. At first, this will be hard. Initially, it might help to have your preprepared sentences written down in a journal so that you can refer back to them. You will need to be dogged in this and not give up. You can also set aside time to repeat these to yourself like a mantra. Do not give up, keep repeating the positive thoughts time and time again until eventually, you have replaced your old negative thinking.
- Persistence is the key to this strategy. It absolutely works but like any good habit, it needs to be practiced regularly.
Quite simply what you want on the outside you have to practice on the inside. When trying to overcome limiting beliefs, you are not what you think you are, but what you think – you are.
Remember, the only limits that exist on what you can achieve and do with your life are those that you have in your mind. You can take action to reclaim and rewrite this so that you are no longer held back by negative thinking and negative self-talk. The practice is critical, stick at it, and don’t give up.
