Values in Life: Practical Exercises to Work Out Your Personal Values

(Reading Time: 10 Minutes + exercises)

Now that we have taken the time to understand the meaning and importance of our values in life, we can begin to identify what our core values are to see how much they resonate in the way we live our lives at present.

 

Let’s not be fooled.  This is important stuff. Values exist.  They are real and have a very significant impact on our lives.  Life can be easier and more pleasant when you spend some time acknowledging and appreciating your values.

 

Values of Life

There are several reasons why identifying your values is a very good use of your time:

1. If we find that we not currently living in harmony with our values, we can make some adjustments and realign our lives for us to feel a greater sense of fulfillment, happiness, and contentment. Worries will subside, and we will feel much more at peace and ‘authentic’.
2. Your life will have much more ‘meaning’ when you live according to your values – and not the values of others. This is what some people refer to as ‘living intentionally’. You will learn more about yourself and how you want to be seen by the world, how you want to educate your children, and what legacy you want to leave. You will understand your ‘purpose’ and how you can develop.
3. Relationships will improve as you will have an increased understanding of why others may have differing opinions. Additionally, you will easily be able to identify those people that share your values.
4. In particular, your closest relationships will flourish. Do the exercises in this article with your loved ones and you will have a much deeper understanding of one another.
5. You can plan your time more effectively and spend it on things that you love and fulfill you.
6. You will be happier. You’LL no longer tolerate things that contravene your values; instead, you will devote your time to those things you consider important.
7. Finally, understanding and being in touch with your values can help guide your decision making at critical times in your life, such as:

• Do I want to work a job in a competitive environment with a 60 hour+ working week?
• Do I really want to run my own business?
• Should I apply for a promotion?
• Should I take a career break?
• Can I compromise and move in with my partner?
• Should I take the job that makes me feel alive or the one that pays more money?
• Do I want to get married?
• Do I want to be a stay-at-home parent?

 

The Impact of Understanding Our Values

Understanding our values will not mean that we need to make seismic shifts to our lives.  Occasionally, some people find that they have a differing longer-term goal to work towards, others get a bit more radical and take swift and decisive action. However, for the majority of us, it’s simply a case of taking a pragmatic approach to realigning some key areas of life so that they are a better fit with our values.

Even the smallest of changes can create significant differences.

Please be assured that this is not about us all giving up the rat race, going ‘off-grid’ and communing with nature! (though there is absolutely nothing wrong with that if that’s what aligns with your values!)

Although our values are fairly stable, they can shift as we move through life.  Our priorities change and, thus, so do our values.  Hence, why keeping in touch with your values is an ongoing piece of work.  Once you are aware of your values and how they work, your gut will tell you when it’s time to revisit the exercises contained in this article.

By this stage, many of us have probably given some time and energy to starting to examine our values and giving some of the names or titles.  However, this can be harder than it seems.  It can be tricky to add labels to those feelings. If that’s your issue, it’s fine – that’s what we’re discussing now!

 

Values Definition – A Recap

So, to recap:

• Your values are deeply personal and uniquely yours.
• They are the things that you consider to be important and meaningful in the way that you choose to live your life.
• They define your moral purpose in life.
• You will naturally find yourself drawn to people, ideas, events, etc., that align with your values, and they will inspire you to take action accordingly. (Hence, the reason why we can sometimes strike up meaningful relationships with people when we have only known them for a short time.)

 

Exercises to identify our values

We need to set aside a little bit of time to do this properly.  It’s worth finding an hour of quiet time where you won’t be disturbed.  Similarly, you can do this with your team in a facilitated structured session where each member is given appropriate time to think.

Additionally, partners may choose to work through these stages together, setting aside quiet time, before they come together to share their ideas and thinking.

If you would like a more extensive version of the exercises we’re about to go through, plus over 200 values and their definitions, you may be interested in the Values Workbook.

 

Remember! They are YOUR values!

Before you start, be kind to yourself.  Be conscious of that the fact that these are YOUR values.  Allow yourself to be honest, permit yourself to tell the truth.  There is no need to share your findings with anyone if you do not wish to, but it is vitally important that you are honest with yourself.

Your values can change.  Don’t be surprised if you find things about yourself that you weren’t quite expecting.

Task 1:  Reflection Questions (10 Minute Task)

Get a copy of the workbook, or grab some paper and a pen and answer each of the following questions.  Do not take too long to do this – allow yourself 10 minutes maximum to answer all of the questions below.  Complete them with thought but also with pace.  Do not overthink them.

Think about life in general. What inspires you and makes you feel energized?  What MUST you have in your life?

Which qualities you look for in a partner or friend?

If you had to summarize yourself in 5 words – what would they be?

 

Task 2: Values Sort (10 Minute Task)

It is important to complete this task after you have completed Stage 1.

• Look at the list of values below. You will find a more comprehensive list (200+) complete with full definitions in the accompanying workbook. 
• Read through all of the values. Immediately cross out all of those which do not apply or resonate with you.  Go with your gut on this.  Be honest. Do this quite quickly.
• When you have completed your initial run-through, repeat the exercise – only leaving those values which are most important to you. Discard and cross out the rest.
• Keep repeating this exercise until you are left with only 10 or so values. As you are going through you may choose to combine some of them to one value and give it a new, more personal title, that’s fine. You may also choose to add something not listed. Remember – this is not a comprehensive list.
• Write a list of your top 10 values.

 

Remember, the workbook contains a more comprehensive list of values complete with definitions.

Ambition	Authenticity	Beauty	Change
Compassion	Confidence	Cooperation	Courage
Creativity	Curiosity	Diversity	Enjoyment, Fun, Happiness & Joy
Fairness	Freedom	Friendship	Frugality
Generosity	Health and Wellness	Honesty	Influence
Justice	Kindness	Knowledge	Love
Loyalty	Nature	Order	Peace
Personal Development	Popularity	Recognition	Reputation
Security	Simplicity	Strength	Teamwork
Timeliness	Tolerance	Understanding	Uniqueness

 

Task 3:  Finding out which of your values are most important (10 Minute Task)

This is possibly the most important and difficult part of all the tasks. There will be times when all of your values cannot be met.  We need to know which of our values are non-negotiable.  This is practically a very useful thing to know as it can guide and shape our decision making at key times in our lives.

• Look at the list of your top 10 values.
• Now attempt to rank them in order of importance, starting with the most important value at the top.
• Role-play the following scenarios in your head and see if they shed any light on which of your values are most important.
  1. You win $100 million on the lottery. What do you do?
  2. You win a very prestigious international prize that changes positively everything about your life – your career, wealth, recognition, etc. You later find out that an error occurred in the process and you actually came second. The organization is keen to sweep this under the carpet as they fear reputational damage.  They ask you to confirm that you will keep this confidential and continue to be seen as the winner, despite actually coming second. What do you do?
• Now that you have completed the exercises above, reorder your values in order of importance.

 

Task 4: Values Validation Questions (5 Minute Task)

It’s important to double-check that the list of values you have created fits with your life and your goals.  This is an incredibly useful piece of knowledge to hold about yourself and it enables you to cope in any situation.

Ask yourself the following questions:

1. If you were to be described at your funeral using the values you have identified would you be satisfied that you had lived your life to the fullest?
2. Do you feel a sense of pride when you look at your list of values? Do you feel comfortable to share them with your peers and those people you admire the most?
3. If you knew that standing by your values could put you in the minority would you still stand by them?

If you have chosen your values honestly and correctly, each of these questions should yield a positive response.

 

 

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